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Posts Tagged ‘video production’

Finally got the new laptop today. The old one, a Gateway I got in December of ’04, was really showing its age in terms of speed and a weird, green vertical raster line that I KNEW was bad news. I did some research and got a good deal on an HP from OfficeMax.

And here’s the thing about OfficeMax: rather than THANK you for spending $700, they make you feel like CRAP for not spending $750 to get the warranty! “Hey, man…if you drop it on the way out to the car, or get hit by a truck, don’t think you can bring it back!”  Yeah, I’m sure that when I am pinned under a truck, my laptop would be my chief concern!

You suck, OfficeMax! Great price, though!

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Question: What’s more cynical than deliberately writing a post about Facebook because it is guaranteed to draw hits?
Answer: Facebook itself.

I hope you’re sitting down when you read this (we pause as a million chairs drag across the scarred linoleum floor of our global consciousness) …but retarded Facebook apps like Farmtown and Mafia Wars are cynical cesspools of personal information-gathering disguised as “community”…and worse. This according to an article in The Consumerist, inscrutably titled “Mafia Wars CEO Brags about Scamming People from Day One.”

Long ago I wrote a cranky, Andy Rooney-esque piece called “Putting the Grr! in Facebook,” in which I grumbled about the various idiosyncrasies of hapless users. This post is consistently my top drawing piece – even surpassing my scholarly (!) review of the film Lars and the Real Girl (my top post among perverts searching for Artificial Partners, wink wink.)

Since that post, I have mellowed out a bit and hooked up with all kinds of friends from the past. But a constant beef has continued to be all of the stupid apps. Jenny has sent you a hug! What famous dead composer are you? And a bunch of others I can’t recall because I “HID” them long ago.

But the games are the worst. I got as far as Scrabulous, meaning, I signed up for Scrabulous, knowing that it was nothing more than a scam for gathering personal information, but hey, I like Scrabble. But the first time I saw on  Facebook’s News Feed: “Michael has spelled the word INCONTINENCE on Scrabulous! Can YOU do better? Sign up NOW!” …I pulled the plug.

Trust me, I “get” Facebook. If you know anything about Web 2.0, this practice should not be a surprise. While everyone whines about the ads, I say “that’s why it’s free.” But you read something like “Mafia Wars CEO Brags about Scamming People from Day One,” …and you are looking at the epitome* of corporate cynicism.

*Epitome: The embodiment or precise representation of an ideal. Pronounced “uh-PIT-oh-mee”…or “eppa-tohm” if you’re from West Virginia (like me.)

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vet pic

Photoshop presents a dude with some other dude's arm holding a picture he forgot to bring!

Well, we set out to honor America’s veterans, and to sell medical devices. I’m confident we did the honoring part. The selling? It’s too soon to say.

Despite a last minute freakout caused by someone watching an old rough cut and asking for changes that were made two weeks ago, the Veteran’s Day videos are up.

So HERE is the LINK. What you will see is a nice rah-rah about the Veteran’s Health Adminstration and its care mission, and how this healthcare manufacturer’s mission coincides. To drive home the point, the rah-rah is followed by interviews with employees of the manufacturer who also happen to be Veterans.

There are four videos at the bottom of the page. Sort of the donut effect, where the openers and closers are the same, with the interviews filling the donut hole. (mmmm….DONUTS!)

Anyway, check ’em out (and I suggest you do it sooner than later – The client can be touchy about this sort of thing.) And Happy Veteran’s Day! That’s next Wednesday, commie!

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I sat in the editor’s chair, off and on, for about 10 years. It would have taken me just about that long to come up with this: a music video comprised entirely of audio cues from Pulp Fiction. Enjoy!

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I admit, I never got used to the smell of Napalm in the morning, so it’s nice that the smoke is starting to clear on the Veterans Day tribute video. So, as the last chopper leaves Saigon, and the Embassy is overrun, I need to crack open the briefing book and see what I have missed lately (because I certainly haven’t missed any weak-ass ‘Nam references!)

It looks like a bunch of websites I have been writing for have gone online during my tour of duty (bonus reference!) Here is a sampling, with some background info that you don’t need.

Harris Communications: Charlotte area provider of wireless solutions for business and industry.

Carolina Records Storage: Pretty much what it sounds like. Again, from the Charlotte area.

Leitner Construction: Commercial construction company in Rock Hill, SC

Climatech Heating and Cooling: Located in the swank-tastic Lake Norman area of North Carolina, and

Flatfish Island Designs: A fun one. A long time Charleston area residential architecture firm decided to start a new venture, selling coastal-style home plans.

Other than that, it’s the usual mix of websites, print ads, product brochures, and maybe some more videos scripts coming over the horizon. Speaking of the horizon, do you remember the closing shot of John Wayne’s The Green Berets? Duke and the little kid stand on the beach watching the sunset. Did you ever question the logic of that shot, seeing as Vietnam has only an EASTERN coast? If you did, you are a commie.

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I find myself in the familiar confines of the video edit room. Specifically I am  in the jump seat, that second chair situated close enough that the editor can smell your Thai-food breath and feel your project-completion anxiety.

I am working with Charleston’s Unimedia to cut together Project X for the Huge Faceless Healthcare Manufacturer. And, I’ll tell you, it’s the full meal deal. My involvement so far has entailed:

  • Meetings, Correspondence and research
  • Writing the narration
  • Writing the interviews
  • Conducting the interviews (in Indiana, no less,)
  • Choosing the quotes
  • Getting (or NOT getting) approvals
  • Sifting thru online stock footage suppliers
  • Choosing kickass military stock footage (& being charged 3 times for it!)
  • Photoshopping a bunch of portraits
  • Shooting some pick up shots here around Charleston and, finally
  • Edit Day (one of two or three, I am guessing.)

So, how was edit day? We had the usual technical difficulties to begin with, ones that happen every single time and are largely expected. The problem is that it has been a LONG time since I had a project this big, so when 10:30 rolls around and you are ALMOST fixin’ to get ready to begin…you start to sweat! But eventually we got rolling and proceeded apace.

Aside from the technical aspects, there are also the work-style issues to consider. I have known RA for years now, but we have only actually worked together a couple of times. He is a 1-man shop used to hammering an edit out by his lonesome, without much explanation. Historically speaking, so am I.

Before I was a writer, I was a producer/director/shooter/lighter/editor in a 2-man shop. I did not have the time nor the inclination to explain my every move…and really never had to. One of my chief talents was convincing the client that there was nothing more boring than watching someone edit, so there was no reason to attend.

These days, it’s a different handicap.  I communicate with the written word almost exclusively. So there were a couple of humorous moments (as in, NOW we can look back and laugh) where I tried to explain my “vision” of quarter-frame portraits dissolving up, top-left, while zooming forward and fading out just in time for the next element to appear bottom right and…well, let’s just say there was a slight communications gap. I can’t speak for the editor, but I was more amused by it than I was frustrated. The irony? Finally he said, “Just let me explain what I am seeing here…” And he described exactly what I was looking for!

In the end, we churned out a fully-realized, damn near complete piece in 8 hours. We have 3 more to do, but we have made 90% of the style and execution decisions so, one would hope (pray) that the rest go quickly. My hope is that I will have access and permission (but mostly access) to share these pieces with you when they are complete.

So that’s the story so far. Someday I will have to tell you about the 26 OTHER balls I kept in the air this week!*

*heh-heh…balls!

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¿dónde usted ha estado? the Legion of Fan inquires, in Spanish for some reason. Where have you been?

Gah! No excuses for blogging negligence. I will say that, in addition to everything else, I have been embroiled in a massive project for a certain huge hospital supply company in the Midwest. A testimonial video wherein I interviewed 14 internal people who happened to be either veterans or who are still serving in the armed forces. It is a piece designed to show that Veterans Administration health system that this hospital supply company really understands their mission and their needs. And, for once, straight up, this is actually the case.

I interviewed guys and gals who served from Vietnam til today…guys who were on a 30-day furlough and heading right back to Iraq…guys who have kids over there right now…guys who reached a breaking point and openly sobbed on camera. It was powerful, I will admit.

There is a crush deadline, and a coordination between web, video and print. And it must all break by Veterans Day (that’s November 11, pinko.) So, forgive me. This blog, despite whatever clues you might have received lately, is deeply important to me. I look forward to sharing the final results with you. And that may actually be possible. Stay tuned!

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It occurred to me that I just completed my most visible copywriting job ever: an in-store PA announcement script for Kroger Supermarkets, a name instantly recognizable to anyone in OH-KY-IN-WV and thereabouts.

Growing up in Ohio, long before Wal*Mart had busted out of its Arkansas ghetto, Kroger was just Kroger, THE premiere name in grocery shopping, having been founded in Cincinnati in 1880 or so.

Today Kroger is everywhere, though you might not know it. They bought up tons of regional players, and then very wisely kept the regional monikers including Ralph’s, King Soopers, City Market, Dillons, Smith’s, Fry’s, QFC, Baker’s, Owen’s, JayC, Hilander, Gerbes, Pay Less and Scott’s.

My longtime associate GG, who I have known since the ¾ SP video days, happens to be the media production director there, and he suggested me to their agency of choice. It has been a fruitful relationship, and I have done several internal merchandising pieces for Kroger—mostly video scripts.

This latest project takes it to a whole new level…into the grocery store. You see, September is Wine Month, and Kroger is promoting the crap out of it. I wrote two scripts, a :30 and a :15, that play in between the Muzak. Here then is the :30…

When I entertain, fine wine is always on the menu—and so is a visit to the Kroger wine department.

In September, Kroger is “Celebrating the Crush” – the annual salute to the grape harvest, when vintners begin crafting the wines we love.

Kroger’s huge selection and great prices make it easy to branch out and try new wines. And they always offer helpful tips for new and interesting food pairings.

Fine wine is one of life’s little pleasures. The Kroger wine department makes it even more pleasurable.

I assume they substitute the regional name for Kroger in each market. At any rate, it is clearly the widest exposure I have ever had. (This includes the time I was floor-directing the 7pm news in Dayton.We went to a break and I called “We’re clear!” and broadcasting legend Don Wayne said, “Finally–I’ve got to go to the can!” But, in fact we weren’t clear and 100,000 people heard both of us. Good times.)

I would like to see a statistic on how many people live within the realm of Krogerdom, the Krogosphere or el Krogomundo, if you prefer. I would look it up, but that reeks of effort! I would rather have a glass of wine.

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Yeah, well, now you know how I feel!

Yeah, well, now you know how I feel!

A while back I mentioned the therapeutic little ritual I perform every so often. I sit and list everything that’s going on at The Exchange, either to assure myself that things aren’t as quiet as they seem or (in the current instance) to try to get a handle on the swirl of projects at their various stages of completion. Right now I am in Swirl mode. So, come. Circle the bowl with me!

Community College web copy. I am rewriting an online course catalog. It’s a modest start, but one that promises to explode later. A nice project because, other than some brochure work for a vocational/college prep high school in Dayton, education is not a niche I have spent much time in. I like it because it speaks of opportunity, hope, growth and other aspirational wonderfulness.

Various web copy, article writing and blog projects for area realtors. Sort of the opposite of opportunity, hope and growth. It’s a nice challenge working in a “down” business. But it can be emotionally draining working with folks who are in various stages of panic about their futures (hey, I should point them to the Community College!) Also tough because they all feel the need to step up their marketing, which is good, but they don’t have any money. I want to be part of the solution, but….

Various websites for clients in:

  • Insurance/benefits/investments,
  • Custom home plans-for-purchase,
  • Home HVAC,
  • Commercial construction,
  • Forensic psychiatry,
  • Commercial cleaning, and
  • Commercial in-building wireless signal enhancement and bridging (which is a thing now, apparently.)

Like I said, a swirl. Next time, we’ll do a “Where Are They Now?” of old projects. Try not to let the anticipation ruin your Labor Day weekend…because that’s Jerry Lewis’ job!*

* Oh, snap!


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Somehow, within the span of my career, the business lunch has gone from being an indispensable part of the commercial transaction to being deader than disco.

Nostalgic? Not so much. Even at the peak of its power (think Don Draper, martinis, call girls, regret) the Client Lunch was a pain in the ass. Neither the client nor the vendor wanted to be there—it was ritual, through and through. And even if the vendor picked up the check, the client knew he would ultimately be paying for it.

As Lunch passed into memory, nobody really missed it. What replaced it was Value (for once.) Instead of packing up the entire project, driving an hour round-trip and laying out the portfolio amid the highball glasses and ashtrays, you could talk it out over the phone and actually get some work done.

So, when my client invited me to lunch to review the project, I was surprised. It had literally been years, but my curiosity got the best of me…sort of like opening a time capsule, or attending 70’s Night to Benefit AIDS Awareness or your softball team.

As I waited in the lobby and “20 Minutes Late” rolled around, the nostalgic charm began to wear off. I predicted the next milestone—the client would eventually roll in without a hint of apology.

And so he did. We were seated, and the waitress handed out the menus. Immediately he sputtered, “Damn! Look at these PRICES! THIS is why I gave up going out to lunch!”

So I ordered the side salad and water. The mindless chitchat began, and I immediately remembered the next business lunch truth: outside the project and the ensuing payment, I just don’t care about your life, dude.

An hour later, the waitress brought the check. Dude made a big gesture out of snapping up the ticket and, before the waitress could leave he said, “I’VE got this!” Then when she was safely out of earshot he said, “Yeah, so…give me seven bucks and we’re even.”

So, to recap: This business lunch Blast from the Past contained no Don Draper, martinis or call girls. However it was loaded with regret—mostly for the 90 minutes of my life I would never get back.


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