Archive for May 22nd, 2009

A while back, in the post “Putting the Grrr! in Facebook,” I saved a few lines for the FB offender known as Twitter Newbie. He is a guy or gal who just got their iPhone, or what have you,  and has figured out the thing will pay for itself in just three years if they tweet 200 times a day, regardless if they have anything to say.  So, you get updates like “ugh! going 2 work!…ugh! at work!…snack: cool ranch doritos yum!…ugh! meetings!….yay! 4day weekend!”

Get a grip, you say? Well, I just realized that little Tweeters grow up, and it’s not pretty.  Eventually Twitter Newbie, sort of like the machines in Terminator, will become self aware and begin to annihilate us–not with cool liquid metal robots from the future, but with the sheer power of his smug self-satisfaction.

Some prime examples of this phenomenon have been immortalized in the blogsite ” Tweeting too Hard,” and they are a howl. I will give you the link in moment, but here are some highlights of actual tweets disbelieving recipients have submitted:

OMG i was saying how i couldn’t afford the gas to fly daddy’s jet to the riviera this summer, and this barista totally rolled her eyes at me!

Everywhere I go people are telling me that I should start modeling. I guess I am really that good looking. lol

I’m about to go save up to 3 lives. What are YOU doing today?

A woman ordered a breakfast sandwich with sausage and bacon, while I had a whole-grain blueberry muffin. Am I justified in feeling superior?

Watching a LOT of fashion mistakes go past whilst waiting for the bus. This is why I don’t use public transport.

Damn these Google AdWords… Too many potential new business enquries to deal with. Sometimes I’m too good at online marketing. *Sigh*

OK, that last one was me. Anyway, if judging others is your thing, head on over to Tweeting too Hard and settle in. If irony is your thing, keep track of how much time you are wasting at this site while judging harshly the people wasting their time on Twitter.  It’s a win-win!

Have a good weekend, and remember our Honored Dead!

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