A Change in the Program

It figures. As soon as I launch this blog as a feeble marketing attempt, I manage to market myself into a full time copywriting gig here in Charleston. It’s a full time 1099 gig, though, so I can still cling to a shred of my freelance cred.

I’ve made this transition before, from freelance to full time. I think the last time, heading in to produce the daily Toyota newscast, was a little more traumatic. After three or four years I was unsure I could ever punch a clock again. Seriously, I nearly had a panic attack. (We pause now as my construction worker father reaches from beyond the grave to slap the sh*t out of me for being such a whiny bourgeois poop-butt. Also for using the word “bourgeois.” And for putting an asterisk in sh*t.)

I can tell you there are things I am definitely going to miss. (Thirty freelance writers shout at once: “Like teleconferencing in your underpants!?”) Well, obviously that’s the big one. But also all the monumental household projects that got done in the name of procrastination. The daily trips to Lowes. Going for groceries and forgetting half the items on my list and not stressing about it because, really, what else do I have to do?

So now I’ll be spending my days in the language factory, milling words and phrases to a .003 tolerance. “But where,” you’re probably not wondering, “does this leave your legion of fan? Where will I get my daily dose of bittersweet cynicism?” There’s likely to be an adjustment period, but I suspect I will continue to flog my blog, maybe on a M-W-F kind of schedule.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go say goodbye to the old farts hanging around the paint counter at Lowes.